Being Both

Being Both by Susan Katz Miller

My friend,   Susan Katz Miller, wrote this wonderful book about embracing two religions in one family. She tells in this blog (that I am re-blogging) about a book reading she recently did about her book by the same name: Being Both and reflects on this precarious moment the world faces.


I can’t wrapped my head around the hate Hamas has been cultivating and growing for 16 years since rising to power in Gaza, and many more before this. The hostile brutality of their murder rampage on 10/7 cannot be let go without serious, significant consequences. I would murder them myself if I could.

NYT: Israel Shares Raw Footage of the Oct. 7 Attacks
The Israeli military showed the compilation to foreign reporters on a day when Israel continued to bombard Gaza with heavy airstrikes.
‘It was animal slaughter’: Israeli festival survivor describes horror

And then the suffering of the people of Gaza, the 2.2 million people being used by Hamas as human collateral, disposal pawns in their Hate War to incite millions of people watching as they point their fingers and cry like the little, frighten men that they really are how brutal Israel is being to them.

Buildings destroyed after Israeli airstrike in Deir al-Balah | ABC News

Narratives are funny things, especially when used to evoke and manipulate millions into emotional responses such as rage and fury. What I have heard in the days and weeks since the barbarous butchery Hamas unleashed on 1,400 innocent human beings, is an Israeli man who feels guilty and helpless because he cannot rescue his kidnapped wife and daughters. And I have heard of a Palestinian man who feels guilty and helpless because he cannot protect or even find clean water for his wife and two sons.

What kind of beings have we become when we can murder women, children, and babies. One cannot take any side and claim blamelessness of sin. And yet to bath one’s mind in hate and to teach one’s children and countrymen to hate, this is some human beings excel in doing. And no one is going to win in the end. No one is blameless, and no one deserves to be deprived of basic human rights, especially the right to live and life for being Jewish, Palestinian, Christian, Muslim, or for being black or brown, red or white.

I pray for peace, for understanding, for justice, for a kinder and more compassionate world where all human life is precious and celebrated. Where children learn how to grow and cultivate tolerance, cooperation, and compassion. We seem so very far away for such a world–War in the Middle East, War in Ukraine, threats and insults from dictators and terrorists tempting, baiting, provoking the rest of the world to be their very worst selves… because a world like that… bullies, villains, thefts, and monsters win.

Life is fragile. It can end in an instant. Don’t waste it hating others because you really just hate yourself if that is all you can do.

Hate is a suicide pact. Hate never ends peacefully with a perfect world. Hate is not Heaven.

Sun & Moon Beings

I have been contemplating the shape of civilizations at different points in time in the 5,000 years since humans, spontaneously (everywhere, all at once) and voluntarily, began to organized themselves into civilizations.

The oldest civilization we know to arise is Sumer, but there is intriguing clues around the world that humans were moving in this direction for a long time such as Göbekli Tepe, which was discovered in the mid-1990s in Turkey. This is an ancient temple predating the emergence of Summer by 7,000 years.

Göbekli Tepe built 6000 years before Stonehenge | Image from Green Prophet
Göbekli Tepe is an archaeological wonder,” says Prof. Gopher. “Built by Neolithic communities 11,500 to 11,000 years ago, it features enormous, round stone structures and monumental stone pillars up to 5.5 meters high. Since there is no evidence of farming or animal domestication at the time, the site is believed to have been built by hunter-gatherers. However, its architectural complexity is highly unusual for them.”
Discovered by German archaeologist Dr. Klaus Schmidt in 1994, Göbekli Tepe has since been the subject of hot archaeological debate. But while these, and other early Neolithic remains, have been intensively studied, the issue of architectural planning during these periods and its cultural ramifications have not. -- Posted on May 20, 2020 by Karin Kloosterman in Archeology

How civilizations self-organize and hold themselves together has become an obsession with me as I finish the first book in my series called Sapience. Right now I am putting the final touches on a section where a Grandmother is telling her Granddaughter how the world ended up they way it does in my not so distant future on Earth–a planet forever changed by man’s inability to course correct and change direction. A collective choice that will led humanity and all life on Earth over the Climate Cliff!

As I searched for the model of mind that held the shape of Ancient Egyptian and Ancient Chinese civilizations, I stumbled upon this documentary that absolutely fascinated me. It enchanted me mostly because ever since I started keeping journals for the story I am writing, I have been drawing the shapes depicted in Drunvalo’s documentary of the Flower of Life. I had no idea what I was drawing, but I knew it was important for the story and just keep drawing the shapes that were shaping my story.

Drunvalo Melchizedek Flower Of Life Full Documentary Sacred Geometry Meaning

Do Your OWN Thinking

…And Stay Opened Minded as You Do YOUR OWN Research on Nifty Ideas that Captivate Your Attention! Flexibility of Mind is especially important when you are attracted to highly seductive, fascinating, enchanting, alluring, and interesting ideas! Throughout human history of having a mind to think up ideas, these sort of ideas have always been the Most Dangerous kind of Ideas!!!

I have never taken anyone or anything presented to me at face value. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when I first met them and trust what they are telling me, but when I find out they are using their words to manipulate, deceive, or control me–WATCH OUT!

And, I will find out because I tend to feel deception and manipulations in others and I have always been curious about the world. When I encounter something new on my own or presented to me by someone else, I seem to have more questions and want to find out the archaeology of the idea or beliefs being presented.

Perhaps I am old fashion, but I want to learn more about a NEW Idea (especially a highly attractive one) before I incorporate them into my belief system.

So this is what I was doing about Drunvalo’s documentary about the Flower of Life when I stumbled upon Jordan Pearce who I believe created or helped to create this documentary.

Sun and Moon Beings

In looking into who Jordan Pearce is, I encountered a shock, which is the spark for this blog.

The Flower of Life documentary is full of images that also shocked me as I have been drawing many of these shapes and images in my notebook ever since I started keeping notes on my story in 2013. The first shape I started drawing is infinity.

Sapience Notebook | 2013-2014

It would evolve dramatically leading to these shapes:

The Divine Dodo Mini Series

After watching the full documentary and making my own doodling and drawings of it, I began to envision a circle with yellow, orange, and red flames on one side and blue and white and purple flames on the other side in my mind.

I was considering how to draw it when I came across one of Jordan Pearce’s blogs and there in his blog was the image I was seeing in my mind!

Image from: Empaths vs. HSP (The Dynamics of Vibrational War)

Recognizing this was the image I was seeing in my head, I drew by my own hand adding some elements that made it feel more as I saw it in my head. I had not seen the faces in my image, nor did I connect it with the sun and moon, but I felt this was right. This was what my knowing was trying to tell me.

My drawing of the drawing above

And so this is what gave me the idea for the feature animated archetypal animation for this blog, which I have titled: Sun & Moon Beings. And they are living beings. This is energy that courses through every living being on earth. It is part of the Life Force that human beings began to become conscious of and represent through art, architecture, and language for thousands of years.

It is this energy that creates the foundation of every civilization that has existed or will exist on Earth. It is how we interpret this energy that will determine our fate as a species on Earth. It is the energetic form of Yin and Yang experienced by every living being on Earth that has ever lived on Earth as night and day.

Cloak of Doubt

Given the synchronicity of this image, I knew Jordan Pearce’s blog was important for something I needed to understand or pay attention to. It felt linked to the time when I pulled the Cloak of Doubt over my head and plunged into an inner abyss from which I almost did not come back.

Cloak of Doubt | Letting Others Trick You into Not Believing in Yourself

I talked about the perils of the Cloak of Doubt in my previous blog where I pick apart the rantings of a person I had counted on as a friend during this time. I admired his way of thinking and ability to string words together to create compelling and alluring ideas… but I would come to realize how hollow, empty, and full of hubris his words were during my time of deafening sorrow, despair, and deep grief.

I would come to understand that he and all the FAKE people I had met on FAKEBOOK at a time of in my life when everything was not going my way; a time when my husband would lose his job, I would lose two jobs back to back, I would come to understand the brutality reality of my mother-in-law’s narcissism and brother-in-law’s psychopathy (terrible human mental afflictions that have plagued humanity ever since humans could think and these afflictions were ripping my family apart during this horrible time), and I would lose my father, which sent me into the abyss.

Functional Hierarchies

Nearly, five years this personal disaster and mass abandonment of FAKE friends on Facebook and in real life, I have slowly been reckoning with this time in my life. Part of this reckoning is to make an accounting of the people in my life then who made me doubt myself as I spiraled into probably the darkest time of my life.

As I emerge on the other side of this dark period, I can see how I let these people dupe me and allowed them to let me doubt myself. I can see how I did this by admiring them but not doing my due diligence to dig deeper into the hollow ideas they were touting. They were shiny, happy ideas that I guess I needed at that time because I thought they might keep me afloat as everything around me disintegrated and turned into the Sea of Sorrow where I was cast adrift on a rickety raft.

I was drawing this sea like crazy at this time and sharing them in post such as this one:

These “friends” would nod their heads like bobble dolls, but they really didn’t care. And the further I spun into despair, the more distant and inhuman they grew. This is because, I realize now, I was just easy food for them.

I was a vulnerable person attracted to their ideas or art or weird philosophies and I did not have the inner power to doubt them, instead I doubted myself… and way too many of them liked this! In fact, they actively encouraged me to doubt myself because it keep me as a captive audience and loyal follower.

I cut them off as I spun deeper into despair. Something inside me kicked into survival mode. And dad’s death dramatically showed me how FAKE and inhospitable these people really were. It was very painful, but I let them go and now I realize they were channelling dangerous and dying ideas full of hubris and arrogance that only an ignorant human being can achieve.

They are ignorant because they cling to ideas they have spent way too much time thinking about. They are attached to these ideas as if they were part of their body, perhaps replacing their heart. They are so attached to their ideas they cannot let go of them no matter how catastrophic the final destination of these ideas might turn out to be.

Mansplaining Functional Hierarchies

Titantic-Titan

Strangely, as the publication date of this blog dawns near, the world is completely absorbed in the hunt for 5 explores onboard the Titan–a tiny, experimental submarine that was heading down to see the Titanic.

We all found out yesterday that the 5 did not survive. The experimental sub touted to be a game changer in deep sea exploration imploded during its descent to the Titanic.

These are just a few of the pictures flooding news outlets around the world ever since the Titian went missing on Sunday in its dive to see the Titanic. Our collective imagination is captivated because this tragedy eerily parallels the very same disaster that led to sinking of the unsinkable Titanic on April 14, 1912.

Odd fact: The Wife of the Missing Sub’s Pilot Is Related to a Couple Who Died on the ‘Titanic’


This just in, July 5, 2023:

LEAKED Titan Sub Transcript Shows Crew In Battle For Lives | Jeff Ostroff reviews the leaked Titan Sub Transcript which the internet is debating the authenticity of, to see if this scenario is real, and whether the crew spent 20 minutes fighting for their lives with OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush at the helm, only to have the OceanGate Titan submarine implode before it could resurface.
Crushed, Burned or Toothpaste? Surgeon Explains What Happened To Crew OceanGate TITAN Sub Implosion | Dr. Chris Raynor | Not Your Everyday Ortho | In this explainer video, orthopedic surgeon reacts to the Titan submarine disaster and theorizes about what happens to the people onboard when their submersible catastrophically imploded. #titan #submersible #implosion

James Cameron Reflections the Titanic & the Titan

I feel “Titanic” director James Cameron summarizes what we have learned about the fate of the 5 explores on the Titan brilliantly in an interview with Anderson Cooper yesterday when the world found out the tiny sub imploded 1 hour and 45 minutes into its descent sending parts of it debris field resting 1600 feet from Titanic’s famous bow.

Cameron said:

“I think there’s a great, almost surreal irony here, which is Titanic sank because the captain took it full steam into an ice field at night, on a moonless night with very poor visibility after he had been repeatedly warned,” Cameron told CNN’s Anderson Cooper Thursday.

He added that while he thinks it’s important to remember that history, “here’s a case starkly, today, where the collective, we didn’t remember the lesson of Titanic — these guys at OceanGate didn’t.”

“I just think it’s heartbreaking that it was so preventable.” 

“Titanic” director James Cameron sees similarities with submersible tragedy and famous shipwreck

James Cameron made his own submarine to complete a record-breaking solo dive to 35,787 feet to the deepest point on Earth. His 12-ton vessel is known as the Deepsea Challenger, so he knows a thing or two about submersibles and how to survive the inhospitable, alien space of the deep, deep, black sea.

Natural History Museum

He told Anderson the composite material used to build Titan was simply the wrong material to use for deep sea diving vessels, everyone knew it and the deep sea diving community was really concerned about the decision to use it to make Titan. However, the idea was highly attractive and it worked for a while, but if you have to build in sensors to tell you that your hull is beginning to crack, well, that is problem because you can’t really do anything about it when you are almost 2 miles below the sea.

Cameroon said that Stockton Rush, CEO of OceanGate, was brilliant, brave, and a true explorer, but he got caught by the same hubris that sunk the Titanic down 111 years ago.

Cameroon says using the carbon fiber cylindrical hull was fundamentally wrong. In another interview reported on by NPR, Cameroon says:

"I think it was unconscionable that this group did not go through that rigorous process," he told CNN.
He told the BBC he believed they hadn't done so because "they knew they wouldn't pass."
OceanGate said in a 2019 blog post that the certification process only assessed the vessels themselves — not operational safety, which it took seriously. It also said regulation was preventing innovation, echoing comments Rush told Smithsonian Magazine that same year.
Cameron said he personally never believed in the sort of carbon fiber cylindrical hull that the company used, telling Reuters it was a "horrible idea" that "just sounded bad on its face." 
Pressure hulls should be made out of contiguous material like steel, titanium, ceramic or acrylic, he explained, in order to do modeling and finite element analysis to "understand the number of cycles that it can take." That's not the case with a composite material, like carbon fiber, made of two different materials blended together.
"And so we all knew that the danger was delamination and progressive failure over time with microscopic water ingress and ... what they call cycling fatigue," he added. "And we knew if the sub passed its pressure test it wasn't gonna fail on its first dive ... but it's going to fail over time, which is insidious. You don't get that with steel or titanium."

-- NPR Interview

This trait for pomposity is an innate quality of being a conscious living being. One could say it is the price of being conscious.

If a person chooses not to be self-aware, he or she cuts off an important inner guidance system. If a person does not recognize and counteract their personal form of pomposity with modesty and humility, they will veer off course heading for the deepest, darkest, most dangerous inner waters, which they happily ignore in empty proclamations of how great they are or how bold and innovative their flimsy IDEAS are.

This tendency to believe oneself to be the best, most important person in the world will balloon inside the fragile ego expressing itself in endless iterations of self-importance, magniloquence, grandiosity, vanity, self-conceit, and dare I say Narcissism. If you allow these ideas free range, they will replicate inside your mind, making you more and more lopsided, more insane, more dangerous and more destructive every day. If you leave your lopsided ideas unopposed, and only YOU can oppose them and course correct, your BAD ideas will turn you into a machine, this is the best case scenario! Most people keep sinking and descend to the depths of MONSTER, this is basically a Self-Implosion Model of being a conscious living being in the world.

Pomposity, vanity, narcissism are very contagious mental viruses–let’s call them the Hubris Viruses. They and other variants infect virtually the entire Modern World… this being the Modern Mindset based purely on thinking. Most people have no idea they are infected and go about their daily lives feeding their increasingly lopsided ideas that grow more and more extreme and polarized and infecting others with their BAD IDEAS.

This is what my FAKE friend did to me as I entered a very dangerous time of personal crisis. And this is what men like Putin are doing to the entire world. Putin used his Hubris Virus to manipulate and gain the reigns of power in Russia. Now, this shitty, insane man and his shitty, insane supporters are putting the entire world in danger due to his brutal invasion of Ukraine that enters its month 17… and if WE (THE FREE WORLD) don’t STOP his Shitty Version of Russia form fulfilling at its predetermined destination, which is HELL, TOGETHER… it is going to get worse and worse and worse.

Putin and his insanity ducks will never STOP. They will deploy nuclear weapons or conduct nuclear sabotage at the Zaporizhzhia nuclear power plant.

From February 2023 Blog Marking One Year Since Crazy Russian Czar Putin Invaded Ukraine

No one will be safe!

Alan Watts On Inner Voyages

Dangerous hubris and intellectual arrogance will kill our world, if not by nuclear war, then by climate disasters, other wars, or the AI apocalypse.

This is a time when humanity not only needs bold and courageous explorers of the physical world, but we also need them for the invisible world too. This is the world inside each and every human being’s mind.

Alan Watts talks beautifully about why we need to pay attention to our inner spaces NOW more than ever before in this video. He says near the end of this lecture that Inner Dives can be just as dangerous as making a deep sea decent or taking an excursion outside the protective atmosphere of Earth,

Alan Watts: Drugs: Turning the Head or Turning On – Being in the Way Ep. 7 – Hosted by Mark Watts
Can you get mysticism in a bottle? Alan Watts explores the drug question, in this psychedelically infused episode of Being in the Way. This series is brought to you by the Alan Watts Organization and Ram Dass’ Love Serve Remember Foundation. Visit https://Alanwatts.org for full talks from Alan Watts. Mysticism in a Bottle // The Smell of Burnt Almonds (0:00) Psychedelics, Mystical Experiences, & Western Culture (28:18) Psychedelics as Instruments // Set & Setting (45:35) Morality & Legislation // Policing, Preaching, & Hypocrisy (49:25) “Lo and behold, I had what I simply could not deny being an experience of cosmic consciousness, the sense of complete fundamental total unity forever-and-ever with the whole universe. And not only that, but that what this thing was fundamentally—despite every thing and every kind of appearance in ordinary life to the contrary—that the energy behind the world was ecstatic bliss and love.” – Alan Watts

Highly Sensitive People, Empathy, and Arrogance

But I digress! Let’s get back to Jordan Pearce and why I found his blog so helpful.

It is probably not so much that I was dealing with HSP or transcended individuals during my dangerous descent into myself, but I was dealing with individuals who were weaving highly attractive webs made out of hollow and dying ideas because they were too caught up in their own hubris.

When a person becomes so attached to their own ideas, they become blind to the needs of others and fail to see the humanity in the people who they preach to night and day. It turns out such people need us (the vulnerable ones going through a hard time) than we need them. That is because they have hollowed themselves out inside and must consume other people’s time and attention to feel alive. This is a dangerous type of human being because they can disguise themselves in all sorts of attractive personas.

This is what I fell into… cockeyed people touting crooked and corrupted ideas. But they would never admit it. Rather, they would blame others for their errors in thought… thinking was becoming increasingly insane and inhumane.

“If an empath allows the HSP’s fear of lower vibrations to be internalized within, we agree to the HSP’s story (lower vibrations = I’m unsafe). This is a profoundly damaging belief for an empath to have, as it causes deep internal conflict about the very essence of what we are. By nature, we cannot reject our emotional experience without making ourselves sick or blocking Life Force.”

After reading Jordan Pearce’s blog above, I made the following comment.

This is so helpful!! I had to look up what HSP is…"A highly sensitive person (HSP) is someone who has an increased sensitivity to stimulation and information…" I had no idea such a person existed! WOW! I have just finished watching all of Drunvalo Melchizedek Flower Of Life Full Documentary Sacred Geometry Meaning, which has you mentioned in the transcript. So I looked you up, wanting to find out just who is Jordan Pearce?
I would not have been ready to view or understand this documentary when it was first posted in 2014. At that time, I was getting lost, very lost. I was beginning a descent... a  REALLY, REALLY deep descent…one from which I almost did not return.
I took notes all the way through this documentary because I have been drawing the egg of life, the seed of life, the tree of life, the flower ever since about 2015 as my descent increased speed. I had NO IDEA what I was drawing… and no one I knew did either.
Then, in 2016, the dive began… and I REALLY started drawing this stuff… and after reading this; I think I willingly aligned myself with a lot of Righteous HSP while I am pretty I am an Empath… and when my fall came… boy did they make me feel like shit and they abandoned me to my doom. It felt horrible because while I aligned with their way of thinking, I was there friend, but when I had to access my inner warrior and get swallowed by my inner dragon… they made me doubt myself more than ever. Doubt is the Dark Force of Destruction… this I know for sure now.
I was meant to find this blog because the image you have above the the sun and moon women I was seeing in my head after finishing the documentary. I was trying to figure out how I could draw this when I looked you up and found this blog. That is what I was seeing! I never knew about you… I have never been to your site before… but I was seeing this image and I think was led here to learn something about what I passed through because I have so much anger and rage about what happened and how I was abandoned… however, I also I drew the Cloak of Doubt over my own head. I aligned myself with these people so I would stand absolutely alone when the time came… and all along I knew I needed to make this passage utterly alone and it was dangerous and some how I survived.
Thank you for your work!

What I realized in his blog, is that people are going to want to shame and blame you for things they cannot reckoned with inside themselves. You do not need to be their punching bag, victim, or target for their bad ideas.

Walk away, unless… you need to done the Cloak of Doubt to begin your deep dive. These are dangerous journeys. Not everyone makes it back… but there treasures buried deep inside every individual alive on this planet right now.

Flower of Life

Another synchronicity experienced today occurred during a trip to the Torpedo Factory in Alexandria, VA. This is a place that once made weapons of mass destruction but now provides spaces for artists to create, collaborate, and sell their work.

I have never been inside the Torpedo Factory! It took our daughter visiting to get us there today. And because I watched this documentary, I recognized the Tree of Life and Flower of Life. The artist is Sermin Ciddi, a renowned Turkish artist skilled in the modern miniature painting of the highly specialized arts of the Ottoman and Turkish culture.

Artists, musicians, writers are our deep divers of Self and Other. We need the arts more than ever in our fast pace, consumer-based, status obsessed, overly achieving, overly hectic and complicated Modern World.

We need to understand symbols and symbology more than any time every before in human history because if we don’t… we are going to implode or explode from our over exuberant and arrogant ways of being in the world… ways that depend on putting other people down so you can be up (Functional Hierarchies)… ways that ignore the facts like icebergs in the sea: Never Mind That the Titanic’s Captain Shouts! Full Steam Ahead! or the will of the people: King Trump!

Note the words painted into this picture: “I want to make the sun and moon rise and set!”

So here we are full circle back to the Sun and Moon Beings!

Feature Archetypal Animation Images

Image from: RS Arts | April 24, 2019  · 

Sun and moon combo #mandala art#Moon Sun Conjunction# Moon has a friendly relationship with Sun but their energies are vastly different. One is hot and fiery while the other is calm and compassionate.#When their energies combine in trine or 10th house or in their own signs (Cancer, Leo and Aries), their effect is mostly positive#RS arts

Image from: Psychedelic Moon And Sun Tapestries With Hanging Accessories Included

Music: Space and Time (Deluxe Edition) | The Bad Dreamers | [1] Space and Time    1:53

Space and Time (Deluxe Edition) | The Bad Dreamers

[1] Space and Time    1:53

The Grief of Rage

I wrote this piece about one year ago. Being brutalized (physically, psychologically, or spiritually) by someone who holds power over you takes unbelievable amounts of inner strength, courage, and perseverance. Feeling rage is never wrong. However, choosing how to express rage can cross social, cultural, and moral boundaries that exist for very good reasons.

I believe rage is something building up all over the world for many reasons such as being bullied by popular kids at school, bullied by a boss at work, bullied by governmental systems designed to enforce huge inequalities baked deep into its operating systems long ago, or bullied by another country who seek to control a people or a place through violence carried out with impunity.

It doesn’t matter where or how superior power is used to control another human being such use of force is humiliating and is meant to put someone else down. A person on the receiving end of this sort of abuse is suppose to feel fear, sadness, anger, and rage. It is part of the abuse. It is a form of social torture.

If you find yourself in a place of rage, you are right to feel it. Do not try to suppress your rage or run from it. Turn around and face it dead on. Only this way can you choose how to express this rage. It is energy. It has to flow. It will flow whether you are conscious of it or not.

How a persons deals with how rage flow depends on many factors such as family, culture, social groups, emotional maturity, personality, mental health, social structure, and so many other factors. But it is only with conscious awareness that you can capture your rage and choose a better path of action versus a more destructive path.

Rage is going to flow consciously or unconsciously. You begin to heal and regain your strength and dignity when you are conscious of your rage, when you feel your rage, when you own your rage. By doing this, you can use your rage to get to a better place like a sailor who uses the wind to get to where he wants to be rather than letting the wind blow you somewhere you don’t want to be.

Note: Rage can be manufactured, especially in these times. Let’s call this Fake Rage. It is artificially induced into people’s minds by other people seeking to manipulate public sentiment for their own purposes. This is not the kind of rage I am referring to in this blog.

Sacrifice to the Squirrel Gods

Sacrifice to the Squirrel Gods | Channeling Rage | Deborah Wunderman
Deborah Wunderman (61 subscribers) — Please like and subscribe to my YouTube because I blog there too 😉
95 views • Premiered Nov 29, 2021
Music: High Noon — Patrick Warren [as featured in iMovie for iPhones, music that gets you ready for What’s coming next!]

Thanksgiving… what a wonderful time to get together with family and friends and share our collective blessings, and oh how precious, after a year and a half of not being able to get together due to a global pandemic!

But, Thanksgiving, oh how aggravating, antagonizing, and infuriating it can be to get together with precisely the people who know how to get under your skin. The one’s who know how to rip off the fragile psychological Band-Aid you’ve managed to put over the bubbling hot well of pain, torment, and psychological abuse inflicted on you by people who are supposed to love and support you (friends or family), but instead they get their kicks inflicting emotional pain and psychological torture at your expense.

Since inflicting pain and torture back on them is not the karmic path you want to take, nor may you have the opportunity to tell them just how horrible and monstrous they have become as defectively amoral human beings… something like June was finally able to do when she confronted Serena Waterford in her prison cell in Season 4, Episode 7 of the Handmaid’s Tale. The part where she screams in her face ‘Do You Understand Me’:

The Handmaids Tale Season 4 Episode 7 — June and Serena ‘Do You Understand Me’ | Television Fanatic
Television Fanatic (3.9K subscribers) | 525,282 views May 26, 2021 |

If you don’t have this outlet to express your anger and rage at their moral deficiencies and extremely flawed character traits that are hurting you, then try a sacrifice to the squirrel gods!

t’s what our ancestors used to do long, long ago. We think it’s kind of silly and not what a modern person should be doing… but this is another ploy by your tormentors to keep you feeling horrible. They don’t want you to find your voice, your power.

You can’t let go of your rage any more than you can hold onto it.

The only thing you can do is to try to remove the inner obstructions that are hanging you up as you try to navigate through this blistering inner torrent that is moving through you like a river of rage searing its way through your soul.

That is what sacrifices where for long, long ago. They were never for some god sitting up on high making judgements over us all. They were for us… to help us navigate inner rivers of rage so that we do not become the monsters who are tormenting us and causing so much destruction not only in our lives but the shared reality of everyone.

So make a sacrifice…use your creativity to make your voodoo doll, your effigy of your tormentors. Project all their dangerous energies and damaged soul into your talisman and set it out as an offering to any animal spirit you choose–it could be ravens, wolves, or squirrels.

It is so satisfying…and when you feel this satisfaction inside, you have removed an impediment to your rage because it needs to flow, it’s part of your power and you need all parts of your power…the good, the bad, and the ugly… to heal and grow into the individual you want (and know) you are, which is not a monster like your tormentors but a healer and conscious decision maker of your destiny.

Evolving Rage

One year later, my rage has not gone away but it has evolved. Margret Atwood is a genesis in capturing the evolution of rage… the kind I’m talking about above. Season 5, episode 10 is absolutely awesome and Billie Eilish’s song dead on! Go Margret, go June, go Serena! Maybe there is hope!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GFGg1KY5Ko
Serena and June Train Scene | The Handmaid’s Tale S5E10 Ending | Samet Turgut
Samet Turgut (1.31K subscribers) | Serena and June Train Scene | Video Clip: The Handmaid’s Tale S5E10 Ending Music: Billie Eilish – bury a friend The Handmaid’s Tale Season 5 finale ending

Feature Archetypal Animation

Love Rage Grief Hatred Escape Soap Bubble Tree | LN_Photoart | Lars Nissen  •  Vogt/Deutschland  •  Member since June 19, 2016

Eye Iris City Skyscraper Screen Background | LN_Photoart | Lars Nissen  •  Vogt/Deutschland  •  Member since June 19, 2016

Pregnant Child War Escape Historical Maternity | Mysticsartdesign | Mystic Art Design  •  Deutsch  •  Member since July 3, 2014

Skeletons Atomic Bomb Nuclear Weapons Explosion | geralt | Gerd Altmann  •  Freiburg/Deutschland  •  Member since Sept. 15, 2012  •  #25

Annoy Cells Stars Dendrites Sepia Excitement Brain | geralt | Gerd Altmann  •  Freiburg/Deutschland  •  Member since Sept. 15, 2012  •  #25

Music: sad / rage | Squiddy | [1] don’t lie to me    2:30

Remembering Queen Elizabeth II

Sadeeq Akbar
@SadeeqAkbar01 | 589 followers

More Than a Symbol

She united and guided Britain through so much history–good times and bad.


She Modernized the Monarchy

1 hour ago | Queen Elizabeth II: A Life in Photos: The longest-reigning monarch in British history, Queen Elizabeth II was born in 1926 and was crowned in 1953. — Photo gallery below mostly from this Wall Street Journal article.

She Had Her Own Style


She Loved Horses


She Loved Dogs


Most of All She Loved People


She Knew How to Tackle A Crisis

She helped steer her nation, and indeed the world, through tough times and always with elegance and grace reminding everyone this too will pass and we will be together again.

‘We will meet again’ – The Queen’s Coronavirus broadcast | BBC
4,586,445 viewsStreamed live on Apr 5, 2020

When she made a miss step with being too reserved after Diana’s death, she didn’t double down and insist she was right. She pivoted and changed. She showed us how to grow throughout one’s life, be it long or short.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPHH1Y_C5G0
UK LONDON QUEEN ADDRESSES NATION ON DEATH OF PRINCESS DIANA
15,326 views, Aug 2, 2019

Archival Footage of Queen Elizabeth

Here are some older archival footage of the young Queen Elizabeth II. She lived through some of the greatest changes of the modern world and she showed how to lead a nation not through intimidation, lies, strong-arm tactics, but by listening, being present, keeping her heart open, being willing to change, admitting mistakes, and loving her people, her family, and indeed, the world in all its diversity and wonder.

Archive footage shows life of young Queen Elizabeth II on 94th birthday | ABC News
222,014 views, Apr 21, 2020
The Christmas Broadcast, 1957
5,088,043 views, Dec 20, 2007
The Crown: Princess Elizabeth’s 21st Birthday Speech (1947) | British Pathé
392,894 views, Apr 13, 2014
This Was Queen Elizabeth II’s First Speech
324,713 views, Aug 4, 2017
Queen Elizabeth II: Long Live The Queen (1952) | British Pathé
217,046 views, Apr 13, 2014
FUNERAL OF KING GEORGE VI (Elizabeth’s father)
548,049 views, Jul 21, 2015
The Queen As A Child
27,290 views, Premiered Jun 1, 2022
Our Royal Family At Home (1937)
57,689 views, Apr 13, 2014
Royal Sisters: Queen Elizabeth II & Princess Margaret
256,881 views, May 6, 2012
Harvest Time On A Royal Estate (1943)
33,636 views, Apr 13, 2014

Balancing Duty With Family Was Hard


She Was A Unifying Force


Leaders Around the World Remember Her

1 hour ago
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky Tweets Condolences | Wall Street Journal | 9/8/22
Wall Street Journal | Former U.S. Presidents Mourn Death of Queen Elizabeth II
By Alex Leary | 9/8/22
Wall Street Journal | 9/8/22

Line of Succession

48 min ago | CNN | This is what the royal line of succession looks like

Music of Feature Animation:

God Save Our Queen (British National Anthem)The Royal British Choir[1] God Save Our Queen (British National Anthem)    2:23


She modernized the monarchy and harmonized the world. She never stopped learning, growing, and changing. She will be missed.

The Peace of Wild Things

Please note Chrome works best for the Archetypal Animations in this post.

— By Wendell Berry

First Archetypal Animation & Stanza

When despair for the world grows in me, and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s live may be,

When despair for the world grows…” | Music: Goodbye Then | Crippled Black Phoenix

Second Archetypal Animation & Stanza

I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I go and lie down…” | Music: Wild Imagination | Kurt Vile

Third Archetypal Animation & Stanza

I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.

“I come into the peace of wild things…” | Music: The Peace Of Wild Things | Keith Kauspedas [1] Deep Echoing (Fox In The Snow)

Fourth Archetypal Animation & Stanza

I come into the presence of still water.

“I come into the presence of still water…” | Music: Watermark Enya | [9] River  

Fifth Archetypal Animation & Stanza

And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light.

“I feel above me the day-blind stars…” | Music: Stars Night Mantra

Sixth Archetypal Animation & Stanza

For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

“For a time I rest in the grace of the world,…” | Music: Peaceful Piano Musicals Cover Kid | La la Lu (From “Lady and the Tramp”)    

Reflections On Wendell Berry’s Poem to This Moment in Time

When the forces of man’s collective psyche gather into a maelstrom sending destructive vortexes this way and that into the world, it is hard not to feel as Wendell Berry begins his timeless poem:

...despair for the world grows in me, and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children's live may be...

Putin blows his devil’s breath from high within his isolated, depressing Moscow tower. A devil’s wind that makes his warrior vortexes go this way and that. Everywhere they go, the leave behind trails of blood, of dead bodies and blown up buildings, trees, and earth. Up there in his tower of desolation, he bloats in his madness as he congratulates himself over and over again about how he is getting away with unleashing his Hell-scape fantasies, deathly desires, and foolish folly into the world.

If you are a person with normal capacity for human empathy and compassion, then it is impossible to turn away and ignore what is going on in Ukraine. And you must not turn away.

We all must witness this wicked madness straight on, just as the Ukrainians are meeting Putin’s little devils straight on. If we don’t want to become like Putin, we must feel this destruction deeply and furiously. And we must feel down deep into our bones all the other tragedies unfolding in Afghanistan, the Middle East, Africa, Central America, South America, in the heart of all major cities and super rick countries in this world.

If you do, this means you are still human.

Wendell Berry describes the monsters inside us all. And he also tells us how to quell them and to sink into the peace that passes all understanding.

I wonder when was the last time Putin went down to where the wood drakes gather? When did he last lay down on his back, belly exposed to the light, the air, the sun, the stars and breathe in the beauty of this world? When did he last see a heron eat a snake or ponder the peace of still water? When did he last look up into the night sky and wonder about how implausible any of us are here at all?

When did Putin cut himself off from his curiosity, his wonder, his inner grace and awareness that he is alive in a magnificent world with enough bounty for all, if only we would tap into our inner wild nature where the wild wisdom of life runs free with the knowledge there is bounty all, if only we take our fair share? When did Putin become a narcissist blob cut off from his body, his heart, and his humanity? When did he become a monster?

Seventh Archetypal Animation | When Grace Is Lost

“And then the sun went out bright…” | Music: Dark Bloom | Darkness | The Sun Went Out Bright    

Putin lost his inner grace long ago, and now, alone and cold in a forbidding world, he opens a gate for devils to tumble and fumble their way out into this beautiful world. They rape women, shoot children, bomb maternity hospitals, children’s hospitals, and recreation centers where 1,000 women and children huddle in the dark and cold hoping they might just stop their bombing. Instead, they are crushed under the rubble of another bomb.

I hate Putin. I hate Putin’s army of dead and dying souls. I wish the Free World would grow a stronger backbone and kill this man who has become a Dracula overseeing an army of Zombies. But, we are playing on the “civilized” game board, while Putin plays on the barbarian game board.

However, he won’t win. He might kill a Hell of a lot of people. He might even launch a nuclear bomb, but like so many Ruthless Rulers before him, he will crumble into the dust bin of life. Ruthless Rulers always do.

Oh yes, they might win for a time. And, they might press their smelly likeness onto other human beings, adding to the blob, but he will never win. His zombies will never rule over the multitude as he has promised.

Evil never wins! At least not for long…not as long as there is life to live. Not as long as wood drakes sail on lakes or great herons hunt and devour snakes. Not as long as a single human being wanders down to the waters edges and wonders why this whole thing exists at all. Ponders why we are here amongst the divine majesty of the trillion billion stars above.


Being Human by Being Connected to Each Other & the World

My friend Karen shared this poem with me. We both feel deep pain for suffering the of the people of Ukraine. We both feel helpless in the face of such evil, and yet, we live…and…in the face of such horror, in retaliation to the demonic evil unleashing death, destruction and horror on Earth, Ukrainians fight! They live!

And yes, they are dying by the hundreds of thousands because Putin is a coward and his army is ill-equipped and ill-prepared, indeed, they are unwilling to wage this war, expect for the beasts he’s imported in and the degenerate ones who glory in the gross and disgusting side of life…the ones who are too afraid to love or to know who and what they really are.

Ukrainians know the price of this evil, and they stand against it, and they are winning! They are winning because they remained connected to their humanity and grounded to this Earth–our home, our mother, our true nature. They show us, the Free World, each and every day how to fight for what is right and how to be better human beings!

Fight for the people of Ukraine! Glory to Ukraine!

Feature Archetypal Animation

Covid 19 Coronavirus Dystopia Dystopian | toyquests | Elliot Alderson  •  Age 35  •  Los Angeles/United States  •  Member since March 31, 2020

Male Wood Duck Duck Animal Wildlife Drake Pond | muskrat55 | Robin Arnold  •  Age 66  •  Port Clinton/United States  •  Member since June 9, 2017

 Iceland Arctic Fox Fox White White Fox Canine | Inactive account – ID 12019

Rest Relax Lie Comfortable Sleep Man Person | Hans | Hans Braxmeier  •  Neu-Ulm/Deutschland  •  Member since Nov. 24, 2010

Composing Woman Fantasy Face Beauty Mystical Root | KELLEPICS | Stefan Keller  •  Deutschland / Germany  •  Member since March 22, 2017  •  #391

Sunset Tree Water Silhouette Tree Silhouette Dusk | Cleverpix | Cindy Lever  •  Age 57  •  Melbourne/Australia  •  Member since May 4, 2016

Meadow Green Meadow Flower Meadow Grass Nature | spirit111 | beate bachmann  •  Age 59  •  berlin/germany  •  Member since April 6, 2017

Seljalandsfoss Waterfalls Iceland Falls Cliffs | Inactive account – ID 12019

Music: The Peace of Wild Things | Wendell Berry

The Peace of Wild ThingsWendell Berry


First Archetypal Animation

Man Portrait Homeless Poverty Male Poor | Leroy_Skalstad | Leroy Skalstad  •  Age 74  •  Milwaukee/uSA  •  Member since July 14, 2015

Mental Health Brain Thinking Tree Branches Disorder | Tumisu | Tumisu, please consider ☕ Thank you! 🤗  •  English  •  Member since Feb. 3, 2014

Lights Candle Man Old Fire Flame Candlelight | Skitterphoto | Rudy and Peter Skitterians  •  Groningen/The Netherlands  •  Member since July 5, 2014

Covid 19 Coronavirus Dystopia Dystopian | toyquests | Elliot Alderson  •  Age 35  •  Los Angeles/United States  •  Member since March 31, 2020

Music: Goodbye Then | Crippled Black Phoenix


Second Archetypal Animation

Rest Relax Lie Comfortable Sleep Man Person | Hans | Hans Braxmeier  •  Neu-Ulm/Deutschland  •  Member since Nov. 24, 2010

Male Wood Duck Waterfowl Bird Swimming Wildlife | JamesDeMers | Charlottesville/USA  •  Member since March 6, 2012

Male Wood Duck Duck Animal Wildlife Drake Pond | muskrat55 | Robin Arnold  •  Age 66  •  Port Clinton/United States  •  Member since June 9, 2017

Heron Snake Wader Bird Kill Ardeidae Prey | mkzsfoto | steven arnold  •  reunion  •  Member since Sept. 11, 2018

Music: Wild Imagination | Kurt Vile


Third Archetypal Animation

Fantasy Butterflies Mushrooms Forest Insects | Stergo | Игорь Левченко  •  Age 32  •  Владикавказ/Россия  •  Member since Jan. 2, 2017

Composing Woman Fantasy Face Beauty Mystical Root | KELLEPICS | Stefan Keller  •  Deutschland / Germany  •  Member since March 22, 2017  •  #391

Tree Lake Water Nature Landscape Forest | Leslin_Liu | Shanghai/China  •  Member since June 16, 2017

Fantasy Eyes Forest Branches Face Portrait | KELLEPICS | Stefan Keller  •  Deutschland / Germany  •  Member since March 22, 2017  •  #391

Fantasy Deer Mammal Forest Nature Outdoors Light | peter_pyw | Peter  •  KUALA LUMPUR/Malaysia  •  Member since July 19, 2016

Fantasy Forest Dog Monster Girl Snow Winter | KELLEPICS | Stefan Keller  •  Deutschland / Germany  •  Member since March 22, 2017  •  #391

Nature Outdoors Ants Forest Light Bulb Light | peter_pyw | Peter  •  KUALA LUMPUR/Malaysia  •  Member since July 19, 2016

Music: The Peace Of Wild Things | Keith Kauspedas [1] Deep Echoing (Fox In The Snow)    6:06


Fourth Archetypal Animation

Still Calm Tranquil Moon Sunset Sky Ocean Lake | WelshPixie | Delyth Williams  •  Age 41  •  Western Cape/South Africa  •  Member since Sept. 14, 2018

Cutter North Sea Port Shrimp Fishing Vessel | ArtTower | Brigitte Werner  •  Age 68  •  Canim Lake/Canada  •  Member since June 15, 2012  •  #89

Sunset Still Water Splash Water Reflection Liquid | truthseeker08 | 🆓 Use at your Ease 👌🏼  •  English  •  Member since April 18, 2016

Still Calm Tranquil Sunset Sky Ocean Lake Water | WelshPixie | Delyth Williams  •  Age 41  •  Western Cape/South Africa  •  Member since Sept. 14, 2018

 Nature Waters Lake Island Landscape Thunderstorm | jplenio | Joe  •  Munich/Deutschland  •  Member since Jan. 9, 2018  •  #295

Sunset Tree Water Silhouette Tree Silhouette Dusk | Cleverpix | Cindy Lever  •  Age 57  •  Melbourne/Australia  •  Member since May 4, 2016

Music: Watermark Enya | [9] River    3:12


Fifth Archetypal Animation

Wall Blind Alley Dead End Impasse Lockup Deadlock | ChadoNihi | Alexandr  •  Age 29  •  Cambridge/UK  •  Member since Dec. 8, 2014

Red Planet Moon Alien Arid Abiocoen Ancient | ChadoNihi | Alexandr  •  Age 29  •  Cambridge/UK  •  Member since Dec. 8, 2014

Stargate Heaven Gate Science Fiction Futuristic | spirit111 | beate bachmann  •  Age 59  •  berlin/germany  •  Member since April 6, 2017

Meadow Green Meadow Flower Meadow Grass Nature | spirit111 | beate bachmann  •  Age 59  •  berlin/germany  •  Member since April 6, 2017

Wormhole Time Travel Portal Vortex Space Warp | Genty | English  •  Member since May 20, 2016

Galaxy Fog Kosmus Universe Milky Way Night Sky | spirit111 | beate bachmann  •  Age 59  •  berlin/germany  •  Member since April 6, 2017

Music: Stars Night Mantra


Sixth Archetypal Animation

Mountains Smoke Portrait Girl Field Romantic | manhhongdldhv | Hong Manh  •  Age 32  •  Vinh/Việt Nam  •  Member since July 4, 2020

 Sunset Mountains Trees Silhouettes Conifers | Inactive account – ID 12019

Mountains Hills Sky Clouds Sunset Dusk Twilight | Inactive account – ID 12019

Iceland Aurora Borealis Northern Lights Beautiful | Inactive account – ID 12019

Kingfisher Bird Close Up Perched Perched Bird | Inactive account – ID 12019

 Iceland Arctic Fox Fox White White Fox Canine | Inactive account – ID 12019

Seljalandsfoss Waterfalls Iceland Falls Cliffs | Inactive account – ID 12019

Music: Peaceful Piano Musicals Cover Kid | La la Lu (From “Lady and the Tramp”)    


Seventh Archetypal Animation

Black Hole Art-Optical Black White Contrast | dric | Français  •  Member since Nov. 30, 2016

Colour Farbklex Embroidery Blob Drops | Bru-nO | Bruno /Germany  •  Age 47  •  Thank you for your Donation!/Please like your download!  •  Member since June 29, 2015  •  #255

Abstract Astral Astrology Astronomy Background | Buddy_Nath | A Owen  •  Age 39  •  United Kingdom  •  Member since Feb. 4, 2016

Music: Dark Bloom | Darkness | The Sun Went Out Bright    

Death Comes… Remembering Sasha

Death comes…

…like a cold winter wind blows leaves from trees

Cold Wind

…like a fire burns wood

Fire Burns

…like a wave crashes onto a distant shore.

Waves Crash

Death does not ask: “Are you ready?”

It comes of its own accord and is as unstoppable as the setting sun whom not even great Hercules could catch and push back to its noon day stance in space and time.

Death Does Not Ask

Death leaves a hole that can never be filled…

…except with love.

Death Leaves A Hole that Cannot Be Filled, Except With

Cherish your beloved ones…

…human, animal, and our living Earth.

Cherish Your Beloveds

Remember Always

Love is the most powerful force in a universe of fragile fading light.

Love is the Most Powerful Force
Wings Will Fly — Remembering Those We’ve Lost

Who are you thinking of today? Have you let them know? Even if your beloved one has passed away, you are just a thought away from their shining love in your life.

Mother of Grief — Remembering 2020

The video below is an artistic-musical journey of some of the events that defined and reshaped our shared reality over the past year. It spans natural disasters, disease disasters, and human made disasters that occurred beginning around Feb. 2020 to Feb. 2021.

I began by drawing the sad woman sitting by a fire contemplating something. I drew her early in 2020 before most of what happened transpired. Behind her is a dreamlike landscape, which was drawn some years earlier. However, I felt it belonged in this dream-like landscape. I then wanted images to appear between the flickering fire, but I didn’t know how to choose which ones to draw or feature among all the disasters and terrible things that occurred last year all around the world.

I decided to focus on the United States and found a regional map that I redrew artistically. I found other maps of where fires occurred, where the derecho hit Iowa and left a 750 mile path of destruction, where hurricanes came ashore, where Black Live Matter marches took place after the brutal murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis (my hometown), and where COVID-19 infections were rising. I artistically re-envisioned and redrew these maps as layers that could be used over the Regional Map or alone.

I blended live videos of 2020 events (e.g., driving through fire, driving through the derecho, hurricane mapping and video, Black Live Matter marches) as well as murals painted by artists worldwide honoring George Floyd and/or illuminating the collective struggle of COVID-19 into this video montage of 2020.

Towards the end, I include drawings I made many years earlier. There were lots so many glitches in getting this video posted, including having to throw out 6 songs at the very end and replace them since the musicians did not allow their music to be used with anything other than their original videos. I understand this, it is their creation. However, I am deeply grateful to the musicians who do allow their music to be used with ad revenue going to them (as it should). I have cited all musicians and tried to give credit to all videos and images used that are not my own drawings or photography. I list these sources in the description section on YouTube.

It is with gratitude I offer Mother of Grief — Remembering 2020

Mother of Grief (Redux2)

Note: The above video is redone due to a copyright claim on one song that block the first version from being viewed. I have removed that song (and then two subsequent replacement songs that ran into the same issue) and replaced it with more gracious musicians who realize art is meant to create and give birth to new art, always. I will leave a link to the previous video because sometimes these claims get lifted.

I completely support any advertisements that the musicians place on this video so any money goes to them. I have never intended, nor ever will, monetize this video for my own profit. It is meant as a work of art expressing some of the dramatic changes that occurred around the world in 2020. It is a year that will be remembered as the moment the world walked through a doorway from which it will never return to the world it had known in the previous year. 

How we move forward from this point depends on the quality of character of every living human being on our planet as measured through mind, heart, and each individual’s ability to see the humanity of all people and the preciousness of all life on earth.  

Mother of Grief — Remembering 2020 | Premiered Mar 17, 2021

Remembering who we have lost and how our lives have changed is important, especially as we prepare and begin making choices on how to move forward as individuals and as communities. Our choices matter. Without taking time to reflect and to grieve for what has been lost, we are bound to go in circles and repeat fixable mistakes in attitudes and ideas over and over. Taking time to remember and grieve is a sacred act. No matter if your life has been impacted in big or small ways, this past year has caused a pause–and Now is the time to reflect, remember, and cherish the precious gift of life–something that is so fragile and fleeting for all of us. This is how we grow and transform by remembering, reflecting, and cherishing what has been lost and using this remembrance (this accounting of one’s life to this moment in time) to make different choices moving forward.

Recently, I’ve been reading a book about the philosophy of the I Ching. It is a book one of my brothers got a long, long time ago. I don’t know how I ended up with it. For years it sat on my bookshelf collecting dust. Perhaps I would not have understood what the author was revealing had I picked it up earlier. However, after 5+ years of significant reversals, setbacks, and losses, it really resonates with me today.

Carl Jung said the East charted inner landscapes and developed a deep understanding of who and what we are as conscious living beings while the West turned its time and attention to charting and understanding the outer world. Neither focus is bad. Both are part of reality; however, the Western focus on the reality of the visible, outside world grew lopsided (very lopsided), creating an imbalance in the psyche that resulted in a lost of awareness of sacred inner landscapes forming one’s inner realities. This forgetting has put the wellbeing of individuals in peril, and possibly placed our collective survival as a species, a civilization in jeopardy as well. All hands are needed on deck to heal the chasm created by this extreme lopsidedness; I will tell you more about this in my book: Sapience.

Returning to what I was reading last night that felt like it belonged in this post. I was reading a chapter about the Student-Sage Relationship. The I Ching believes student and sage are one. And, we come to know our inner sage by developing inner discipline and quieting our mind. This is how our inner sage can be heard, understood, and followed for the good of self and the greater good.

What felt like belonged here is the following:

The Sage is polite, but firm in stating cosmic principles.

It is through such firmness that we perceive his total personality as gentle, kind, firm, and correct–one that believes in us in spite of our deviations.

He waits while we exhaust our enthusiasm for false ideas; he allow us to self-destruct if we stubbornly insist upon doing so, but would rather we did not, because, as he tells us, we have the potential for achieving something both great and permanent for the good of all, if we will do it.

While working with the Sage, we feel a nourishing, helpful presence.

If we become arrogant, however, this presences departs and we begin to feel lonely.

We are hardly aware of this presence until we lose it and miss it.

When we return to our path, the presence gradually returns.

It is as if an inner light comes and goes.

By his coming and his going, he teaches us about himself and about our relationship with him.

The book is called: The Philosophy of the I Ching. It was written by Carol K. Anthony who I came to discover recently died in August 2020. She founded her own publishing company and lived close to me. I could have met her had I been a little faster in my curiosity about the I Ching, but time and fate is what it is. Her biography is beautiful:

CAROL K. ANTHONY (1930 – August 2020)

Carol began her study of the I Ching in 1971, during a mid-life crisis, when she was age 41. Her difficulties made her receptive when a friend, desiring to be of help, introduced her to the Wilhelm/Baynes translation of the I Ching. It taught her to meditate in a way that helped her to understand what the hexagrams were saying. She kept notes of these insights as they occurred. Within seven years she had a complete set of notes on each hexagram that helped friends understand the hexagrams they received. She quickly realized that her notes filled a unique need. Two meditation experiences led her to publish them under the title, A Guide to the I Ching, and to found Anthony Publishing Company. This book was followed by The Philosophy of the I Ching, in 1981, The Other Way, Experiences in Meditation Based on the I Ching, in 1990, and Love, An Inner Connection, Based on Principles Drawn from the I Ching, in 1993. These books interested other publishers and some of them were translated into German, French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, and Croatian.

Other Remembrances of 2020:

The Year Of COVID And How It Changed Our Lives Forever — The Kojo Nnamdi Show on WAMU 88.5

Image from The Kojo Nnamdi Show — Vaccines have arrived. Will you be getting one? The world hopes that you do. PETER HAMLIN / AP ILLUSTRATION

Kojo is retiring soon and will be missed. This was a wonderful look back on a year that turned world upside down.

Description of Episode:

It was Friday, February 28, 2020 on The Politics Hour when we first covered the coronavirus in any detail. We discussed it again briefly on The Politics Hour a week later. But at that those moments we had no idea how deadly the virus would become and how the year would unfold. We were talking about elbow bumping and hand washing.

Over the days that followed cases started to gradually increase in the D.C. region and throughout the country and the world. And on March 10 we devoted the entire show on the virus with doctors and public health officials and began covering the COVID-19 pandemic regularly.

This broadcast will take a look back at the year of COVID, with insights and reflection from Emergency Physician and Professor Dr. Leana Wen, Washington Post Columnist and Parenting Coach Meghan Leahy, and WAMU/DCist Staff Writer Elliot Williams.


One Year Of The Pandemic In Washington: A Special Report | WAMU 88.5 | Friday, March 19, 2021 at 1:00pm

Image from WAMU: A demonstrator against police violence walks near the Lincoln Memorial, wearing a mask. Tyrone Turner / WAMU

Description of Episdoe:

One year.

It’s been a full year since the first coronavirus cases arrived in our region. One year of masks and social distancing. For some of us, it’s been a year of working from home. For others, a year of trying to get unemployment benefits, or risking infection to go to work.

For many, it’s been a year of loss. Lost jobs, lost time, lost homes, lost business, and lost loved ones. Nearly 20,000 people in DC, Maryland, and Virginia have died.

The loss in our region is incalculable. The grief is immeasurable. And the inequalities in who is shouldering this loss are inescapable.

In this special report, we take stock of a year like no other, and look for lessons our region should carry forward.

Listen in with us on March 19 at 1 p.m. ET on WAMU 88.5 FM, here on WAMU.org or on your smart speaker. [Or listen anytime by clicking the link]


When Covid Hit Nursing Homes, Part 1: ‘My Mother Died Alone’ — The Daily, NYT

Image from The Daily | February 23, 2021

Description: In the first of two episodes on what went wrong in New York’s nursing homes, we look at the crisis through the eyes of a bereaved daughter.

And go here to see more amazing stories. As they say: “This is how the news should sound. Twenty minutes a day, five days a week, hosted by Michael Barbaro and powered by New York Times journalism.”


Remembering the Lives Lost in 2020

Time video tribute to the lives lost in 2020 | BY STEPHANIE ZACHAREK | VIDEO BY BRIAN BRAGANZA
 DECEMBER 7, 2020 4:01 PM EST

Description: The year 2020 was one of painful loss. We said goodbye to respected leaders and lawmakers, to gifted athletes and entertainers, to people who have inspired us and enriched our lives even if we didn’t know them personally. In some cases, people were taken from us far too soon, victims of a pandemic that has caused death and suffering around the world. And some of those we lost were the victims of grave injustice, cruelly robbed of years of life they might have spent with family, friends and loved ones.

To lose these people is a reminder of the fragility of life, and a reminder to take care of one another to the best of our ability. But in the midst of feeling sorrow for people who are no longer with us, we should also take comfort in the gifts they gave us while they were here. Here, TIME pays tribute to those who left us in 2020, people who changed the world for the better and helped show us a path forward.


The year that COVID built: a look back on 2020

News photo of the year? Black Lives Matter protester Patrick Hutchinson carries an injured counter-protester to safety, London, June 13, 2020. Image: REUTERS/Dylan Martinez

The World Economic Forum put together a wonderful snap shot of 2020 based on what we searched for on the Internet as well as other key moments of 2020.


2020 events: Yep, these things all happened in the year from hell

Image: New York Post article written by Jackie Salo | December 31, 2020 | 6:34pm | Updated

This NYP article walks you through major events of 2020.

My Hometown Is Minneapolis

This is a part of a comment sent to a local public radio station for a segment about protesting in America, which is washing over the United States after George Floyd was brutally murder under the knee of a cop.

My Hometown

My hometown is Minneapolis. I am white and of Norwegian heritage. My father was a Lutheran minister. We moved to Minneapolis from South Dakota just before I entered middle school. I hated the city and longed for the vast and empty prairies that my family had left, but in the course of my time living in North Minneapolis, I grew to love this city, the people, and culture deeply.

I attended North High School, which at the time was considered one of the most dangerous high schools in Minneapolis. There were riots at this school regularly back then. White people were a minority. At times, it was very hard such as the day I was punched in the head by a black man riding past me on his bike while I was walking to my school bus after school. This shook me deeply. But I participated fully in my school. I ran track and cross country and went to state in cross country skiing. I grew into my school and made many, many friends of many different skin colors than me. 

After seeing George Floyd brutally killed, all my early years flooded back into me. I could feel the land and the people—and it was crying out with the pain of injustice and racial tensions that so many of my childhood friends had to live within. Friends who had showed me how to endure pain and injustice with courage and grace.


I just heard this air on Snap Judgement! Wow — Monaea Upton is wonderful and she is going to the high school I went to in North Minneapolis!

From Snap Judgement about this episode: Monaea, a 2020 Diary – Snap Spotlights “VICE News Reports” (Click the link to hear the story)

2020 has been a YEAR, and Monaea Upton has a lot to say about it. This week we bring you an episode from the podcast Vice News Reports. Vice sent 17-year-old Monaea Upton a recorder and she’s been keeping an audio diary of her senior year of high school in North Minneapolis — during online school, the aftermath of the George Floyd protests, and a spike in neighborhood gun violence. We take you inside her world.

This story does contain strong language, sensitive listeners please be advised.

BIG BIG love and special thanks to Monaea Upton, for letting us into her world! Thanks to her Mother, Rochelle Upton, as well.

This episode was produced by Vice News Reports, a new weekly podcast hosted by Arielle Duhaime Ross. Go on… check it out! This incredible podcast brings you to the news so you can hear it for yourself. VICE News reporters and producers take you along as they travel across the globe to where life is happening, right up to the frontline as a story is unfolding. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!

You can also check out VICE News on their websiteTwitter, or Instagram.

VICE News Reports is produced by Jesse Alejandro Cottrell, Jen Kinney, Janice Llamoca, and Julia Nutter.

Senior producers are Ashley Cleek and Adizah Eghan. Associate producers are Adreanna Rodriguez, Sam Egan, and Sophie Kazis. Sound Design and music composition by Steve Bone and Kyle Murdock.

The executive producer and VP of Vice Audio is Kate Osborn. Janet Lee is Senior Production Manager for VICE Audio. Production coordination by Steph Brown. Fact-Checking by Samir Ferdowsi.

Special thanks to Mauri Milander Friestleben, Charles Adams, Sam Wilbur, Courtland Pickens, Azhae’la Hanson, Samir Ferdowsi, and Alex Baumhardt.

Photograph by Foluso Famuyide Jr, illustrated by Teo Ducot

Season 11 – Episode 41

I Never Protested Until

I have never considered myself a person who protests, but when the Woman’s March took place, I was compelled to go down. To my great surprise, not only did I go down, but I interviewed more than 30 people attending the march. I was terrified to go up to people and ask to record them and their reasons for coming, but I did it. Everyone I asked was happy to express why they were there. As I grew more comfortable going up to people and doing this, I realized I was falling back on my implicit bias and only going up to older white women. So, I challenged myself to find individuals outside of my invisible, internal bias. This is when I met Sioux Z Dezbah who protested at the Standing Rock protests, which had occurred before the Women’s March. Police had turned violent, and she had been hit in the eye with a rubber bullet or tear gas canister that caused her to almost lose her eye. 

She was spectacular. I have attached this interview.  I went on to interview as many different individuals than myself as I could.

Sioux Z Dezbah at Women’s March on Washington — 2017

I Am Afraid of the Police

Now, I realize I am afraid of what the police will do. Last night at Lafayette Park spectacularly demonstrates why I harbor this fear (i.e., Trump’s photo op at the church).  And, the images of so many violent confrontations with peaceful protesters around the country is greatly disturbing. I understand that there are agitating, anarchist agents at work. But there are more peaceful people who are in pain. I am in pain. My country is in pain. There must be a better way.

The Mayor of DC said in a press conference after Trump’s photo op and what resulted afterwards (as well as before) that she was overwhelmed and could not take the time to discriminant between peaceful protestors and nefarious agents. I don’t buy that. If we don’t take the time now to understand what is going on, when will we understand this pain and hear it and honor it? Yes, the nefarious agents need to be detained, but hurting peaceful protestors, detaining peaceful protestors… I am distributed by this.

This is not the right direction now. Just as the coronavirus has made all of us stop and take more time to do ordinary things like going to the grocery store and change our behavior to protect each other. Now is a time to do the same around issues of white privilege and structural racism that have been baked into our systems, which are unsustainable. We need to take the time to find the people who are clinging to their fear of losing power and looting and hurting police from the peaceful protestors.  We should not be hurting and arresting peaceful people who are joining together to embrace a new, braver, better America.

Like the heroes of Swan Street in DC: Protesters Shelter in DC Home Overnight After Being ‘Corralled,’ Pepper-Sprayed by Police

Also, women have long suffered from the stringent, misogynistic, brutal rules made by fearful white men. I experienced this in Denver when I was hit by a car while biking. The white, male police officer who came to the scene followed me to the hospital and harassed me for not wearing a helmet instead of looking for the driver to never even stopped and there were many witnesses he could have talked to get details about the car and driver. But instead he followed me to the emergency room and then threaten to write me a ticket and make me appear in court for not wearing a helmet. For goodness sake, it’s on me if I landed on my head when I fell. Rather I landed on my tailbone, breaking it, which was very painful and frightening enough. This was a mild case of police abuse, but the fear is real, and it spans across every interaction that bad Cops have with ordinary people who they are supposed to protect. I understand the mistrust. I have it too.

The Showdown in Lafayette Square — Are We Losing Our Democracy?

As more is coming out about what happened on Monday, there is good reason to fear the police, especially a militarized police being directed by a leader who interested only in amalgamating his power. For anyone interested in drilling down on the truth, here are two podcast produced by The Daily, one aired on June 4, 2020 and the other on June 5, 2020.

The Showdown in Lafayette Square: What happened outside the White House, and what it reveals about the debate inside over using the military to quell protests. Click the link to listen to this 31 minute podcast.


Why They’re Protesting: “Hate killed Mr. Floyd,” one said. “This kind of conduct has been allowed for far too long against people of color. And enough is enough.” This podcast is a series of interviews with individuals and what motivated them to take to the streets and protest now. It is a series of stunning interviews.


Another interview that aired on June 4 on FreshAir with Anne Applebaum is a must hear. She is an expert in authoritative governments and how people rationalize their complicity or collaboration in allowing a dictator to rise and grab power, then ruthlessly rule. She warns the United States is closer to this moment than we think it is.

Reality is complicated… and now it is more important than ever before to hold competing realities simultaneously in our mind to understand what is happening now. It is complicated and there are no simply narratives to explain it. It takes all of us to do the work to understand it, thus the title to Applebaum’s article in The Atlantic.

Resist the Urge to Simplify the Story: As protests multiply, uncertainty abounds—and Trump is using it to frighten Americans far from any violence. JUNE 3, 2020 Written by Anne Applebaum Staff writer at The Atlantic Image: AP/Getty/The Atlantic

In the FreshAir interview, Applebaum tells how Trump’s intentional effort (along with many, many others) to simplify what is happening across the country due to the brutal death of George Floyd by a cop is an assault on democracy and a dangerous power grab — to which the Republican Senate is complicit like the Russian Duma or Hungarian governing bodies. She says that his and others attempt to blame the radical left and liberals as well as Antifa as the only reasons for the riots and looting is an intentional effort to divide Americans and grab more power.

Our own media doesn’t help by seeking the better shot on live TV of a trash can or police car on fire rather than a bunch of peaceful protestors doing the electric slide. Even our social networks tend to focus on these micro parts of a much bigger reality, thus amplifying or distorting them.

Applebaum says very poignantly that what we are witnessing is a Nation committing suicide (this is in the FreshAir interview when it is available), and history will judge harshly those who have been complicit in the destruction of democracy.


Another important interview occurring today was on The Kojo Nnamdi Show with an interview with Greg Carr Chair, Dept. of Afro-American Studies, Howard University; @AfricanaCarr. A brief overview of this critical piece of information includes:

The Civil Rights Fight Continues In 2020

The death of George Floyd in Minneapolis has sparked a movement.

All across the country, people are stepping out and rallying against police brutality and institutionalized racism. The District has seen a surge in protests, as thousands of residents have gathered for the last week.

As riots and looting remain a part of these protests, many see a comparison to the riots after the assassination of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The comparisons between the fight for civil rights in the 1960s and today are easy to make, but how much do they have in common? What does this mean for the movement today and what happens next?”

A Better Way Forward

I think what the Sheriff in Flint, Michigan did before Trump’s disgraceful photo op is one model to follow. He put down his weapons and asked the people he knew and was there to protect what they needed him to do. They said walk with them, and he did! We need bridge builders now… not frighten white men who are blowing up our fragile community connections (I include our President and the disruptors taking advantage of and/or trying to hijack this extremely important moment).

Sheriff Who Marched With Protesters: ‘It Was Time To Take The Helmet Off’ | TODAY

I have been hearing the chant in my head that the white men in Charlottesville’s repeated over and over during that horrible gathering, which killed Heather Heyer. They chanted, “You Will Not Replace Us.”  What terrible fear and smallness this chant embodies. I hear a new chant: “We are all connected.”  

When we come to understand that ‘Your pain is my pain. Your weakest moment is mine too. Your suffering and loss of justice and human dignity is my loss of justice and human dignity. When we help each other to achieve justice, fairness, equality for everyone (no matter the color of one’s skin), we heal each other. And, as we heal, we can help Earth heal and recover from the damage we (the human race) has inflicted upon our planet.’  

Climate Change Is Part of This Wave of Despair Too

Climate change is a part of this too because the same isolationist, authoritative, supremacist thinking is what is destroying our beautiful planet and accelerating Climate Change. The front end of the effects of Climate Change are already hurting and killing the people who have done the least to damage our world. The vast majority of people being impacted are black and brown and poor individuals who need to migrate due to deteriorating climate that is causing droughts, locus plagues, disease, lack of water, and wars. Then, when hurting humans try to escape these conditions in Europe and the US, they face another massive injustice with wave after wave of the anti-immigration policies thrown up against them, trapping them in dangerous places and situations.

Earth –Drawn by Bebe

Bridges to Hope, to Justice for All, and to a More Beautiful and Sustainable World

When we build bridges to justice and to hope and to sustainability, we build a more beautiful and sustainable world for all living beings on Earth.

Right now, in the USA, it feels like we are losing our democracy. We are no longer the land of the free and the brave. Rather, we are falling into a self-made chasm created by fear, injustice, intolerance, and oppression fueled by greed and a hunger to hold onto power. This hopeful moment of grief and outrage is being hijacked by small groups of people who are being selfish, or even worse, seeking to divide us. And, divided we fall…divided our beautiful world falls.

Just before Trump’s disgraceful use of  St. John’s Episcopal Church for a photo op of his power and authority, I had taken pictures of the moon rising over the Potomac. The juxtaposition of this beautiful and peaceful moment followed shortly thereafter by Trump’s use of force to clear Lafayette Park (the people’s park) just so he could walk across it for his photo op shocked me.

Going Against the Tide — Drawing by Bebe

Your pain is my pain

I made this video and post as a creative act of defiance to capture this strange juxtaposition and terrible moment:

Moonrise Over the Potomac…Just Before Trump’s Photo Op

This is a moment symbolizing the Re-Feudalization of America. We are at the edge of turning the United State of America into an Authoritative, Dictatorial, Undemocratic Nation & Trump had a bible in his hand… give me a break. His deplorable photo op and call to use the military if governors could not stop the protests themselves occurred on June 1, 2020, if you can believe that. And now, he is building a fence around the people’s park.

It is important to remember that nature goes on so beautifully and perfectly without us… it’s our decision (isn’t it) if we decide to stick around here on beautiful Earth… or if she shakes us off, which she can do so easily…(more likely we will do that for her)

We are all connected–aren’t we. Your pain is my pain. Your weakest moment is mine too. When we help each other to achieve justice, fairness, equality for everyone (no matter the color of one’s skin), we heal each other, and as we heal, we help Earth keep being so beautiful (and she heals us too…). This little movie is a creative act of defiance against the forces that are crushing us. We need to join together like never before… all around the world.

Moonrise Over the Potomac — June 1, 2020 — Music: Track — Alex G (Indie)

As I posted the video and words above, my friend in Norway posted this:

All is good. America is mad. USA and Brazil governed by demented psychopaths. Pandemic. Collective insanity in the world. Climate crisis. Extinction of species. People staring at small machines most of the time, seeing bullshit, vulgarity and trivialities. Disconnected. Arguments with ghosts and shadows. Truthers the liars, pro-lifers the killers, antiracists the racists, “we are waking up!” from the most asleep, cops the criminals, those with vision lacking power, those with power lacking vision, those speaking most, least to say. Pollution. Plastic, water, air, soil, language, mind, conduct. Hypnotic memetic parasites feeding on human attention, funded by internet profiteers, distracting from everything valuable. Numbness. Science fiction entertainment: evil, murder, death and doom on the menu. Lovers divided. Brother against brother, sister against sister, father against mother, parent against child, neighbour against neighbour, human against human, based on misunderstanding. Disease. Seldom ease. Worried, restless, wanting, rushing, thinking, thoughts of empty babble: state of modern mind. Round and round and round. Dreams replaced, laid to waste, by crap, with haste. Until this life shall meet its end. Finger pushes send. Message into void placing bet. Hope for something yet to get. And yet. All is good.

His comments resonated so closely with the juxtaposition I was trying to capture in my video and words. So, I shared my video and some of my post.

He responded saying: “Wow this video really hit home with me!😀 I know just this feeling, from some of those enormously wonderful summer days when the whole world explodes in wild beauty and song. This really hits the essence of what I wrote about last night as I was supposed to go to sleep, when then this sentence «All is good» suddenly came to me like a wise whisper. I realized that this simple everyday expression which points to an eternal truth, is also a container that can hold all the painful and mad absurdities of our time safely. Like that great big sky we catch a glimpse of in the video is always in the background, looking over and holding us, safely and patiently and gloriously.”

I said: “Yes, this is such a raw and painful moment in the US. You could not have known what was happening here, nor did I know what Trump was going to do as I filmed this beauty in DC just before one of the most disgraceful moments of our modern age in the US. I felt the juxtaposition of our collective human now with nature’s beauty was so powerful. This is what we will lose if we lose ourselves.”

Thank You Because You Are the Change We Need Now

This link included all the interviews from the Women’s March of 2017

If you cannot protest, take the time NOW to understand reality from many different angles and perspectives. We all have time right NOW to understand our reality better because of COVID, so take it to become informed, to become an expert. This is the strong medicine we are all going to need for what needs to be done next — when the protests calm down and COVID subsides (or doesn’t and we go into lockdown again) — when we emerge from this NOW, we have a devastated economic landscape, fractured communities, broken justice system (as well as just about every other system)… in short, we are in trouble.

Stay informed! I rely on you and you rely on me to understand Now.

Thank you for reading! Your time and attention is precious because where each of us puts our time and attention reality grows. I choose to put mine as much as I can on peace, love, and understanding. I choose justice for all living beings.

In Times of Crisis, Look for the Lost Bird Tribes

During A Time of Crisis (Personal or Collective), Look for a Lost Bird Tribe

Whenever a person experiences a crisis or difficult period due to the death of a loved one, job loss, changes in family structure/cohesion, or anything that places an acute strain on the individual, the effects can ripple for years, decades, even the rest of their life. If a person has enough money, resources, and social status, they often get the help they need to weather the storm. However, a person lacking any or all of these supports, a time of crisis can quickly turn into a crushing time and potential collapse. In my experience during such a time, less robust friendships quickly dry up and disappear. If this happens, very often a person is left to tread the waters of distress alone in a growing sea of fear, sorrow, pain, grief, and abandonment. Digging deeper inside oneself is quite often the only pathway forward. This is when a lost bird tribe might show up. They are messengers and protectors of inner languages that have been lost due to overly busy and complicated modern lives. They remind us of what is really the most important to things to being alive.

One Lost Bird Tribe: Our Lost Inner Worlds

Right now, in the time of COV-19, hard times are being experienced by people around the world almost simultaneously. And these trying times are touching every echelon of society, even the very rich. It is a global crisis that is unprecedented in our modern age and one that is not only threatening human lives but economic systems that the Western World depends upon to thrive.

Just before COV-19 hit, there were big and little crises and civil unrest on the rise all over the world. One could feel this growing global turbulence and turmoil, but one could also still ignore it, concluding it was something happening in Hong Kong (the protests), not here, or something happening in Brazil, not where I live. Co-occurring with this was the rise of authoritarian governments in some of the most democratic countries in the world. People fleeing deadly wars (such as in Syria and Yehem), violence (such as so many countries of Central America), and starvation (such as so much African countries, Venezuela, or any place where conflict and lopsided economic systems ruled by the rich) were welcomed with closed boarders, walls, deportation, and blockades at sea. And, young people around the world who were making their voices heard about the dangers and coming crises of climate change were mocked, and even worse, ignored.

Rather than being brought together by our shared needs as human beings, rampant individualism seem rather to prevail–a type of focus that tends to tear at the fabric of our social structures rather than repair it. Before COV-19, the world seem to react to big and little crises more like a contagious disease to be contained. Barricades and a do not get involved attitude seemed more socially acceptable than providing help and care. And, watching crises unfold far away was strangely comforting as individuals went about their lives as business as usual.

What I am going to tell here occurred before the rapid rise of COV-19, but it is about dealing with crisis and it shows how Lost Bird Tribes can show up during such times to remind us of our lost inner languages–the ones that make us thrive and feel joy and help us heal. These powers come from inside. They are sorely tested during a time of crisis, but that is why the Lost Birds show up to help us find our inner reservoirs of strength, resilience, and wholeness. It is from a point of wholeness that all human beings are empowered to weather the most severe crisis or time.

Following are some of the Lost Birds I have found during my time of personal crisis as well as the ones my friend and colleague Donna Alena Hrabcakova has found.

The Lost Bird Tribe: How To Be Nice

After suffering another devastating personal loss when our beloved dog died suddenly and unexpectedly two days before Christmas. I barely had enough energy to go on any more. A decade of escalating crises had whittled me down to the point of personal collapse. The death of my father a year and a half before combined with the cruel act of my employer firing me while I was by my father’s bedside for 10 days before he died had left me at a point of psychology collapse. It is a place of collapse from which I almost did not pull out from. Many other things contributed to this as well such as most of my social support drying up, including friends, family, even pastors and bishops who looked the other way. But, my dogs did not look the other way. Especially my little brown dog that we called Cider. She stayed by my side night and day. She needed me, and I needed her. I know dogs died unexpectedly all the time. But, what made her death especially hard was that she had been there for me when everyone else was not.

I have written about and made a video (Tribute to Cider), so I will simply say after Cider died, I collapsed again, and it got really bad again. The only thing that pulled me through the aftermath of my father’s death was storytelling and art. And so, that was what I attempted to do again.

When a person creates a thing, it is natural to want to share that thing. One of the things I created was a one minute video. I used a template to create a short trailer using all the bells and whistles that iMovie provides. I selected a longer video I had made a while back about doing inner work to make a promo of. And so after making this, I shared it in several groups I belonged and in which I had shared very similar work previously. These groups had always welcomed similar work I had shared there before, or so it seemed. This time, one group refused to approve the video and another one deleted it. When I asked why the admin of the group that deleted the video, I was told:

“I did not see the link anymore between your personal experience and expression and the relation to us as a species in this time and place.”  

Really? That’s just plain mean.

The Lost Bird Tribe: It is OK to Get to Your Last Straw & Draw It!

That’s when I found my Lost Bird Tribe: The Last Straw Tribe. I terminated that friend on Facebook and left that group. Then, I purged many “friends” and left many “groups” because I finally realized a couple of things.

One of these things is that many of my “friends” were in a race to get to 5,000. That’s the limit of friends Facebook allows a person to have, but have you ever wondered how one person can really have 5,000 friends? Do you think the algorithms can even share your posts in such “friend’s” News Streams, even your most popular posts? But, I realized having them as my friend dilutes who sees my posts. And, these were individuals who even if they saw my post, they were not showing up for me. And because the algorithm feed it to them and they did not react, my post was shared less and less, meaning friends who might have seen it did not see it because the algorithms judged it unimportant. And so, these friends were really rather a burden to me. I was simply a bead on their necklace of getting to 5,000 friends, nothing more.

At the same time, I came to realize through a series of incidental conversations that I had “friends” not necessarily in a race to 5,000 but they had seen post about my dog dying in my arms as we rushed her to the vet, but they chose to stay invisible. They did not let me know they knew this, nor did they offer a word of comfort or support. They were just watching, which is a very odd feeling when you realize others are watching your pain. I know…it’s on me for sharing it. I take full responsibility for this. But, until this moment I supposed my friends were doing as I tried to do if I saw they were going through a hard or painful time. At the very least, I would let them know I saw their post. And most of the time, I try to leave a word of comfort or support. I understand that I miss many posts because I rely on the algorithms to show me stuff in my News Feed. I have thought many times that I should try to visit my friend’s timelines to make sure I don’t miss something important, but I always run out of time, just like everyone else does. And so, I rely on the algorithms, just like everyone else does. It is really a terrible way to be connected.

But now, I was realizing something I had not considered before: I had friends who were seeing my sad news but not letting me know they saw it nor offering a word of comfort or support. Rather, they were watching like voyeurs. If you look up the meaning to this word, it means a person who enjoys seeing the pain or distress of others. I began to feel like a Voodoo doll–a thing others can watch, perhaps even derive satisfaction or pleasure that the needles of pain and suffering were being visited upon me and not them. Have you ever watched a Reality TV show and said afterwards: “Thank God that’s not my life.” I began to wonder: Do we harbor as human beings somewhere deep in our collective psyche that our own personal pain and suffering might be averted by letting others suffer it for us? If so, this would be an ancient and unpalatable thing for a modern, civilized human being to admit, and therefore, it would have been forgotten by most. Indeed, it would have be buried deeply in our unconsciousness, but that doesn’t mean it went away…not at all, it’s still there lurking in our collective unconsciousness ready to pounce on someone else’s pain as if doing this could avert one’s own pain.

All this happened before COV-19 began its relentless march around the world, putting one country after another and another on lockdown. Before it became clear this was a global crisis that no one would be spared. If you are a human being, you are susceptible to becoming infected by this novel coronavirus because no one has immunity to it, and a vaccine may be many months away. It is an evolving situation, but so far this novel coronavirus appears to be 10 to 20 times more deadly than seasonal flu. Indeed, older people are more likely to go on to develop serve symptoms, but there are cases of younger people getting very sick too. And another novel feature of this virus is that some individuals may show little or no symptoms at all, but act like super spreaders.

This was, it is, a crisis that everyone is experiencing virtually at the same time. And, it is one that has removed almost every form of distraction we might have depended upon not to feel so bad about something we was or are experiencing. Sporting games have been shut down, bars and restaurants are being shut down, gyms and public spaces of every kind are being shut down. People must isolate, and if they got out into a public space, they must try to keep 6 feet distance. It is something we are not use to in modern, highly advanced, civilized societies, even though many, many people in the world have and are suffering much more everyday, but somehow we have managed to keep our distance from their pain.

The Lost Bird Tribe: Grow A Supportive & Caring Community Yourself

After this winnowing down of my online social contacts, I did something I didn’t expect to do. I created my own group. Yes, this was a crazy thing to do. I called this group: If you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?  It’s a phrase Alan Watts said in one of his lectures. I started listening to a lot of Alan Watts after Cider died. I found his lectures strangely comforting. This particular phrase made a lot of sense to me as I was coming to terms with my fate and the world as it really is, and not how I wanted it to be. In a way, Watts was leading me back to one of my Lost Bird Tribes. He was helping me trust my inner knowledge and wisdom. He was helping me learn how to trust myself to take the actions I needed to take to heal me.

After creating this group, I invited a few friends who had stood by me. I really wasn’t sure what sort of group I wanted it to be, but I wanted a group that could honor differences between members with dignity and respect. I wanted a group that could foster deep conversations on issues that matter without being cruel to each other when we hit points of divergence on such issues as human beings are naturally going to hit because we are individuals. I had been in enough groups where I had seen the equivalent of online shouting (e.g., my idea or opinion is better than yours). It is a type of behavior that seems to have infected so many online groups and communities. I also wanted a group that could help individual members do things they felt deeply called to do but it can be incredibly difficult to do such a thing for doing so often requires a person to step back from the trappings and expectations of modern society and to live on shoestrings until something becomes self-sustaining, if it ever become self-sustaining.

The idea of creating a Swimming Pool for the Mind began to emerge. A place where friends can gather and share stories and ideas just like friends might do when they sit around a campfire. A place where we can grow a true sense of community like our ancestors surely shared when they came together to survive on the vast savannas and glaciers of long ago when humans did not rule the world. A place where we might discover moments of synchronicity that inspire or connect dots of thought or ideas. A place where we might go like a swimming pool to strengthen our body, but this was a pool for the mind to strengthen compassion, kindness, curiosity, and understanding. A place where we gathered to listen to each other and to grow in our individual beingness as human being living through extraordinary times that requires all of us to dive deeper inside ourselves and find inner lost languages and abilities needed right now to survive our times by making choices that regard the wellbeing and safety of others just as highly as the safety and wellbeing of one’s self.

The Lost Bird Tribe: We Are the Medicine of Now

Now is the time for our storytellers and artists and philosopher bloggers to shine a light forward; a way towards a kinder, a greener, a more compassionate future that has room for all living beings of Earth–the rich ones and the poor ones, the human ones and the non-human ones. We all go together and it is going to take every single individual making the choices that are as inclusive and compassionate as they can be to make it through our current crisis of COV-19 (e.g., maintain social distance and help to flatten the curve so that our medical systems don’t collapse and we do have enough respirators to help those individual who get severely ill from COV-19). It is going to take every single human being (rich and poor) to make personal sacrifices and choices to ensure and protect the greater good. We need each other doing this now to flatten the curve and avert the most devastating possibility this virus looks capable of inflicting everywhere where human lives.

And when our daily lives return to “normal” again, perhaps we can integrate some of the lessons we have learned about crisis and how we need each other most of all during these times. And, we can set aside our differences to flatten another curve of a catastrophic nature, the climate change curve, which also threatens human civilization as we know it.

Our individual choices hold the transformation power to hold COV-19 at bay and to mitigate the worst effects of climate change. This power resides inside of us. We are the medicine for Now. When we are going through a time of crisis, whether it is personal, regional, or global, the Lost Birds come to us through our nighttime dreams and daydreams, in visions and doodles, in flashes of insights and moments of intuition. They are the wings of wisdom that lift us above our circumstances to we can see a better way forward. They are the feathers of creativity, imagination, and artistry that reveal the buried treasures hidden in our souls.

They come in every shape and color. They can fly to the highest echelons of our minds or dive to the deepest, darkest parts inside our psyche. They help reconnect us back to the parts we have lost inside ourselves and show us how we to converse together again as one vibrant, alive Tribe of Earth.

What Lost Tribes and Languages wait to be discovered inside of you right now? Now is a gift of the most unique and unusual kind…it is the gift of time. We have all been knocked out of our usual routines and distractions. Perhaps with this time, you might catch a glimpse of one of your Lost Bird Tribes who can reconnect you with some of your lost inner languages. Now, you have the gift of time to venture an inner journey and become a legend. This is breaking the rules of modern life because if we truly find what matters to us inside, all the consumption and distraction and deadlines just might not matter so much.

Take now to recover a little bit more of who you are…who you have always been, it’s just been forgotten and buried by our modern, civilized life. Allow some of your Lost Bird Tribes to reveal themselves and show you beautiful things inside of yourself that can rejuvenate, inspire, and renew you, Now.

The Lost Bird Tribe: Be the Spark of Mutual Support & Understanding

One of the first conversations to emerge from this group was started by Founding Member Donna Alena Hrabcakova when she posted a couple of short stories and paintings that she called:

The Lost Bird Tribes and Lost Languages

— Donna Alena Hrabcakova — The Lost Bird Tribes and Lost Languages (Crisis and Lost Birds)

“TOP LEFT, AMERICAN GOLDFINCH, painted last night. I am deeply effected by the diminishing songs of the birds and I see less birds here in the Midwest these days. What would life be like without their sings and presence? So I dream of the Shamanic Birds whom lull me to sleep. Mourning. What will be their last proclaimation and who will be listening?  Translating for the birds. My last name Hrabcakova in Slovak means BIRD.”

— Donna Alena Hrabcakova

Night Shaman Bird: One Whom Flies With Elk

Night Shaman Bird: One Whom Flies With Elk — Donna Alena Hrabcakova

THE LOST BIRD TRIBES AND LOST LANGUAGES 
Night Shaman Bird: One Whom Flies With Elk. 
More birds to be posted with writings. Sketchbook.
Good morning my fellow artists!”

— Donna Alena Hrabcakova

The Lost Bird Tribe: Be the Nourishing Rain that Grows A Conversation

Donna Alena’s two posts inspired another Founding Member, Ulrike Schütz, to share this:

The Legend of the Rainbow Crow

“The story of the Rainbow Crow is a Lenape legend, symbolizing the value of selflessness and service. After a long period of cold weather, the animals of the community become worried. They decide to send a messenger to the Great Sky Spirit to ask for relief. The Rainbow Crow, the most beautifully feathered bird, offers to make the arduous journey. He travels safely, and is rewarded by the Great Spirit with the gift of fire. He carries the gift in his beak back to his people, but upon his return, he does not appear to be the same bird that he once was. The fire has scorched his plumage black, with only hints of his previous color, and his voice has been made rough and hoarse by the smoke. In this way, his sacrifice is commemorated.

Another name for Rainbow Crow is Many Colored Crow. This is in reference to the iridescent feathers created from the fire that scorched his plumage black, with only hints of his previous color that reflect when sun light strikes them.” — Wiki

— Thank you Marianne Connor for sharing the magic of the Rainbow Crow.

Ulrike Schütz shared this picture as well, and she told how she had taken it just after hearing the story of the Rainbow Crow. The sky was retelling this legend and the crows were flying in the formation of a bird/crow. If you look for it, the way the clouds are shaped and how this flock of crows are spread out, they look like a crow in the sky. Ulrike said over the past few years she has developed a kind of communication with the sky that she calls Skylistening. Not only does the sky listen, but it can answer, just as the land, earth, and all the elemental forces.

This is a beautiful example of a synergistic conversation and how we as individuals can learn to tap back into our inner reservoir of wisdom waiting to help us, especially when we are confronting a challenge or enduring a time of crisis. Birds have always been messengers in myths and legends from around the world. And that makes sense because they are boundary crosser. In the normal everyday world, they cross the boundaries between land and sky. In the inner unusual world of the psyche, they can cross between boundaries of despair and hope, fear and confidence, love and hate.

This is what we need Now: To catch glimpses of our Lost Bird Tribes who will help us reconnect to our Lost Inner Languages and Parts of ourselves needed now more than ever to weather the storms we face, whether they come from inside or outside or regardless of it is it a personal crisis or a global one.

Here are a few more Lost Bird Tribes from Donna Alena’s beautiful series.

Lost Bird Tribe: Raven of the Night

“I woke up and painted this Raven of the Night.”

“It’s message: Art heals. Art is the Medicine of our times.”

Narratives. Bards. Poets. Painters. Storytellers. I think its message is to fly into the night and listen for the birds who are always singing, even during the Darkest Nights of the Soul.”

— Donna Alena Hrabcakova

Raven of the Night

Raven of the Night — Donna Alena Hrabcakova

Lost Bird Tribe: Lone Bird — The Language of Aloneness and Authenticity.

“Funny we don’t ask people who are alone, tell me about that…the world wants to share stores of partners, families, children etc…but I want to know about you in your alone moments? 
Who are you? 
What do you do? 
What do think about? 
Meditate on? 
Listen to? 
Read? 
Spend time doing? 
What is your passion in the alone moments that get you out of bed? 
That determine you had a satisfying day? 
That determine your sorrow? 
Sadness? 
Dreams? 
Happiness? 
Bliss? 
What do you dream of??? 
Tell me more about YOU. 

Let’s get to the SOUL of you because isn’t that what we are really hungry, no starving for authentic connection? 

Now that I am alone, not by choice but by fate rolling the dice, I think alot about who are we when we are alone? And why are many terrified of that. I struggle, yes, but I am finding peace more day by day. “

Lone Bird

Lone Bird — Donna Alena Hrabcakova

— LONE BIRD. Watercolor pencils. Sketchbook.

“I think this could be a beautiful collaborative blog if enough of us wanted to explore these very important questions. What are your thoughts?”

— Donna Alena Hrabcakova

Lost Bird Tribe: He/She Whom Crossed the Bering Strait. 

“I saw this one with wider features. He/she was covered in paint and feathers and crossed the lands that opened Pangea when we were all one continent. No borders. Ethnicities of every sort. Thousands of languages exploring the unclaimed landscapes trusting home existed somewhere. This was done in the night and I love how the colors turned out.”

— Donna Alena Hrabcakova

Acrylics. *Nighttime is a beautiful hour to paint.

CROSSING THE BERING STRAIT: MIGRATION OF THE UNNOWN.

CROSSING THE BERING STRAIT: MIGRATION OF THE UNNOWN. — Donna Alena Hrabcakova — Crisis and Lost Birds

Acrylics. *Nighttime is a beautiful hour to paint.

Lost Bird Tribe: Riven

“I just painted my fav painting thus far. I am taking a painting class MOTHER EARTH my teacher is the amazing Michal Shimoni. My art has truly shifted by practicing her techniques along with personal shifts in my life. Title: RIVEN: INITIATION. Riven is a Hebrew and British name meaning to split or tear apart. I had a dream 2 weeks ago I was in a painting class. I saw a book in the room I wanted to read but was told I could not read it by the Professor. I took the book and plastered it into the painting. The title was JE NE SAIS PAS. Which in French means “I don’t know.” My Slovakian Bubbie always said this. In Slovak it is YE NES NUM. I think art is a great mystery into the Darkness, the Void, the Unexplainable Places, I call them the Ancestors. There the Divine Spark is lit. I never know what I will bring back. Art and books can never be censorsed as it so much bigger than us!”

“Riven represents an adolescent girl becoming a woman. She is composed by the forest, a deep enigma carrying this forbidden book with her Shamanic bird companion. I saw her in a jingle dress and feathers. I lived on an Indian Reservation for years. She was apprenticing for this Sacred Calling. These women are the Medicine Dancers. I am so honored I walked on Ojibwa lands for 7 years. What a gift. Something has shifted in my art with this painting. I don’t fully understand it but we will see where it goes. I am honored and humbled to share RIVEN. Are you going on a personal initiation also?”

— In loving kindness, Donna Alena

Riven

Riven — Donna Alena Hrabcakova

Lost Bird Tribe: SPIRITS IN THE TREES: HOOVER DAM

“I was inspired by Hoover Dam this morning. Horses, Elk, Shamanic Birds, Tree Goddesses cohabitating in these magical landscapes of trees… Watercolor Pencils. Inspiration from Michal Shimoni my teacher abroad and our MOTHER EARTH PAINTING CLASS. Today was a hard day so I am happy with this. 💘”

— Donna Alena Hrabcakova

Spirits in the Trees: Hoover Dam

SPIRITS IN THE TREES: HOOVER DAM — Donna Alena Hrabcakova

Lost Bird Tribes: WHEN WOMEN WERE BIRDS.

“Well this seems like 1,000’s of layers. I see her as Persephone rising from the Earth being reunited with her Mother Demeter. It appears she is half bird a shapeshifter of some sort. I am thinking as we isolate more I will try and focus on my art even deeper. The ARTIST voices are needed now more than ever to transmute this energy we are faced with. The day is so quiet with snow falling it almost seems like the pandemic crisis of this virus is at bay but we all know better. I used quite a bit of molding paste mixed with spices, coffee, rose oil, dirt and more. I have stated earlier that my last name in Slovak means bird. Seems very fitting since I have painted them so much. I want to hear your songs, stories, see your art, poetry, writings and musings. Let us embrace the alone time to really evaluate what is TRULY important. 💙”

— Donna Alena Hrabcakova

When Women Women Birds

WHEN WOMEN WERE BIRDS. — Donna Alena Hrabcakova — Crisis and Lost Birds

More Lost Bird Tribes and Languages
Individuals Who Are Following Their Creativity and Passion

Here are a few more individuals who I know are doing wonderful things by sinking deeply into what they feel called to do right here and right now. Really, this is all we ever have is Here & Now. It is at this point where we can transform ourselves and the world. Each of us holds a critical pieces to a better future and to a more sustainable and compassionate world. How are you going to use your gift of Now?

My friend Reinhard Hopperger is launching a new website called GreenerAndWiser. This is a site that gathers together in one place information on current events, climate issues, Native American wisdom, spirituality, society, technology, economy, and more–basically everything that makes Now so very challenging to navigate, especially as a global collective whose footprint covers every nook and cranny of our world and whose individual choices that add up to a massive collective choice could determine the fate of our world. He also has launched a Facebook group with the same name.

GreenerAndWiser — website and group

My friend Ben Roberts is growing a global community to explore the art of being fully human in a time of crisis. Individuals gather from around the world a couple of times through a series of Zoom calls that explore relevant topics impacting participants. There is also a Facebook group where people gather to share ideas as well as many other innovative social platforms being woven together to create a new type of social platform to harness the good each individual seeks to share and amplify it through this growing collective. It takes the form of a global gathering and gift economy for collectively navigating the complexity of our times in order to support action, build community, foster healing, and unleash generosity. To find out more, visit Now What?! A new series of Zoom calls are about to begin on March 23, 2020, so go check it out.

Now What?! website and Facebook Group

My friend Alex Lavigne-Gagnon is an artists, musical, and philosopher blogger. Through his work, he shows us beautiful ways to reconnect to inner landscapes of musical expression or color or words. Each of us can find these inner-scapes through the act of creating. Here are just a few of Alex’s beautiful creations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ3kCbyclKE
Nuit blanche – Improvisation

And on Reverbnation: Jonas-Thanatos the Engineer is a selection of songs he has composed and produced.

Jonas-Thanatos the Engineer — Singer/Songwriter

My friend Hannelie Sensemaker Worldpainter Venucia is helping people reconnect to joy through the Joy Generation. Check out her website and YouTube channel:

My friend Jürgen Hornschuh writes thought provoking blogs and will soon publish a book entitled “Mach was!?” (Do something!?). He writes about the predicament of our culture, otherwise known as global industrial civilization. His book will draw upon the works of Daniel Quinn, John Michael Greer, Derrick Jensen, Thomas Henry Pope, Keith Farnish, George Gorman, and Charles Eisenstein, to name a few of the many sources of insight and inspiration for “Mach was!?”, which is a look at civilization from various angles in order to find out how we can face its omnicidal trip individually and collectively.

My friend Floris Koot also blogs The Gentle Revolution: Towards a revolution we all want to dance in, for a flourishing planet.

My friend George Chiger is a professional eater. Yes, you read this right. He trains as a competitive eater. This is a competitive sport that takes training. George is ranked 12th in the world. He is trying currently to reach enough views on his YouTube channel The Smorgasborg to monetize it. This will help him make this a self-sustaining profession. He dreams to leverage his success as a professional eater to help children and youth in the United States who do not have enough to eat to get enough to eat. If you are looking for interesting things to view on YouTube right now, check out George!

George Chiger on Porkroll & His Competitive Eating Journey

My brother is working to create innovative graphics for websites and social media that catch attention and are unusual and unique. He has created a self-evolving algorithm that evolves your original designs. All the moving featured images, website graphics, and even the moving spacers in this blog have been created using his WordPress plugin. He needs people to try things out and help him evolve it even more. If your interested, check out his website and for early adopters of the WordPress plugin, he may provide it free for a limited number.

These are just some of the people who I know sinking down into doing something they feel deeply called to do. Many have made sacrifices to do so. So find your Lost Bird Tribes, tell your story, create your art or music or movie. This is what leads us to the reservoirs of wisdom where our lost inner languages flow eternally, this is where we get our strength to survive practically anything. It is how we grow as individuals, how we find the courage to be compassionate, how we change the world.

Be the Most Creative You that YOU Can Be, Now, and Change Reality

Cider — Dog of Wonder & Love

Remembering

It’s been 2 months since Cider died in my arms. I can still feel the moment when her heart stopped beating. She stiffen suddenly, then slowly let go of everything. I was utterly helpless to keep her from leaving. Her heart was unable to keep up with the blood being lost due to internal bleeding. We did not know she was bleeding inside.

Cider died 2 days before Christmas. It was a terrible shock. As a cockapoo, her breed can live to be 20 years old. We thought we had more time with her. We were wrong. When she died, she was 11 years and 1 month.

What made her death even harder to bear was she had been helping me navigate one of the most difficult years of my life. My father suffered a heart attack in 2018. He was revived and flown to the Mayo Clinic, but his heart had stopped for 15 minutes. It was a miracle he was revived. I tell this story elsewhere, so I will not do so again here other than to say he died 10 days later. I was by his side. On top of this, my workplace fired me for being with dad when he died. These two events released a string of other tragedies (big and small) that swept over me like a tidal wave. It took me a year and a half to resurface.

Seven months before Cider died, I began drawing pictures with a little brown dog in them. After Cider died, I realized I was drawing her. She had been a spirit guide walking with me every day through my grief and despair; just like dad had done for so many people in their time of pain and anguish. I realized during this year I had placed a piece of my soul with Cider because I could not carry all of myself anymore.

Cider gladly helped me carried myself through my time of sorrow and desolation. She never thought me petty or that I was wasting my time or that I should just get over it. Cider simply went with me wherever I went. And, she loved me no matter what I was feeling. Cider loved everyone she met. Dogs seem innately able to do this–to comfort us well beyond their size and status as a creature consider far less important than a human (see NOVA’s Dog Tales). But, dogs seem capable of providing unconditional love far beyond what “normal” humans demonstrate day to day. Cider was nothing less than an angel with fur and a short tale she waged constantly. She helped me repair my shattered world after dad died. Without her, I’m not sure I would have recovered.

As fate would have it, just as I was beginning to feel myself returning to something resembling myself before dad died, Cider died. I say I was returning to something resembling myself because no one is ever completely the same after a great tragedy befalls them such as the death of a loved one. Death, disaster, or sudden tragedy (or all at once) are not meant to keep us intact. We either survive and somehow grow despite all the pain or we collapse. Without each other (or without dogs), recovering from psychological collapse is very improbable. (See a blog about the 11 years Cider helped our family survive at Tribute to Cider: A Super Sad Story and see a blog about conscious grow sprouted from disaster In the Heart of the Sea of Grief and Guilt.)

This post is really about the video I made for Cider. This video shows the progression of the drawings I was creating as I struggled to return back to the world of the living after dad died. I created a video tribute for dad too. Little did I know I was making one for Cider. This video is best described as a musical diary of these images. I’ve come to see them as an imaginative rendering of a perilous inner journey with Cider by my side. Words simply fail to describe what is going inside when a person is forced to make such a journey due to circumstances. When such things befall us, they always push a person much deeper than they ever intended to go had they not been shoved.

Since Cider’s Death — Puppy Buddha

Since Cider’s death, we adopted a new puppy. She turns 3 months old this week: two days after Cider’s 2 month death anniversary. Cider and puppy shared life on this planet for one month. Also, puppy was born the same week Cider was born 11 years earlier.

We found puppy the week after Cider died. My daughter saw her and her siblings in a video posted by a rescue organization (Reach Out Rescue Resources). After watching the video of these adorable puppies, a rainbow appeared in the direction of Cider’s most favorite walk. My daughter and I felt it was Cider telling us she will always remember and love us. And, she was telling us the best way to honor her was to keep growing love by adopting one of these puppies who needed a loving home. So we did, and we love her.

She is not a replacement for Cider, but she is helping us grow love every day. And in the end, love is all that really matters.

These are short videos of our new puppy that I call Puppy Buddha.

Photos of Cider in the Her Last Year

Beloved Cece: I will love you forever…

Cider’s Great Passion Where Tennis Balls
“Oh… I thought this was a ball!”
Cider Was the Best Howler!!
Merry Christmas — Cider Loved Opening Her Presents!
Cider at the Lake on the Way Back from Dad’s Memorial Service

Unexpected Letter

As I got ready to post this blog, I glanced at our mailbox and was surprised to find a letter because it was Sunday. Then, I remembered my neighbor told me he dropped a misdelivered letter into our box. I saw him on a walk earlier that day with Sasha and puppy. He greeted our puppy for the first time and told me had done this. The letter was from mom. She was wishing us a happy spring and included some of dad’s writings. She said he was trying to write his life story. These are the pages she sent filled with his beautiful, beautiful handwriting. I will never see his beautiful handwriting again or have the joy of receiving these written treasures from him.

Love is the most precious gift we give to each other. It is the love that we share that helps us weave strong lives and tell wonderful stories. Every individual story is woven with every other story being told by all living beings about what happens to them as they travel through time on this little blue planet spinning in space. The stories that are woven with love are the strongest stories. And, these stories contribute to a vibrant and life-sustaining shared reality. This is how we polish our precious jewel of the universe, Earth, making her shine brightly. When we share love… we share what really matters in life… it’s not money, it’s not power, it’s not fame… it’s love!

Angel in the clouds